Thursday, October 26, 2006

Regrets of the Great Seduction

Four weeks have gone by since I first thought to write
of a misunderstanding of yin,
But then I thought twice, to get it just right,
to present it correctly within
the Grand Conception, the Big Idea,
the Ultimate Perfect Intent,
(One can't just start in the middle of something
without the beginning and end!)

Like the time I blushed with a rush of excitement
and wanted to touch you right there,
Just a moment, a trace, a flicker of touch,
but clothing encumbered desire.
And then came a thought, as I pulled at your shirt,
that you might to a greater extent
want a Big Production, a Great Seduction,
an Ultimate Perfect Event.

Took my hands off your shirt, put my thoughts to their work,
and began to plan the next turn.
But feelings fermented and soon felt regret of
what could have and might have been done....
Like tickling your tummy with the tip of my nose,
and whispering into your skin,
Like nuzzling the arrow that leads to your grove,
and breathing your muskiness in....

To start at your middle, your navel, in fact,
With no sort of warning before,
To end of a sudden, full flush in the act ~
Is so little too much to be borne?
I think rather not -- yes, you'd like the attack,
and be up to endure many more.
So what is this business of holding things back,
of suborning the now to the morrow?

Here I'll stop the meter and rhyme, and get to the publishing end.  I've much more to write about earlobes and toes, of lickles and tickles and thrills.  But if I keep on going, I'll fall to the lure and regret of the great seduction.

It seems to me that a Great Seduction is at its best as a solitary romp of imagination.  There it can be edited and replayed, then rewritten or completely started over, all in a few minutes and with no confusion whatsoever -- just like in your dreams, where anything happens and everything makes sense, and weeks of time are compressed into seconds.  The imaginary great seduction has no bounds, and can indeed be perfect.

A real and true encounter, on the other hand, is limited by our physical bodies and linear time.  It's limited by the responses of the other person involved.  These limits are the outlines of the here and now, and they make every real encounter unique and unrepeatable.  Then there is the substance of the here and now -- the vibration and flow of the cosmos.  Grab that substance and feel it twist through your hands as a lively, energetic thing, and feel it flow around and through your body as you respond to every nuanced suggestion.

Moment after precious moment ticks away in this encounter, not planned and never to be repeated.  The preciousness would be unbearable, except that the next moment is coming, to be met and enjoyed, and then the next, and the next.  No time for dwelling on sentimentality until it's all over and can be remembered at leisure.

So I ask you: What really is the Great Seduction?  Is it something you do to your lover at a particular place and time with props and plan?  Or is it something the cosmos does to your encounter?  Subtle and smooth, it all seems innocently spontaneous ~ the cosmic flow so warm and silky, the cosmic hum alluring, soothing.  You wish to abandon yourself to this great seducer, to surrender your small beliefs and fears.  But still you might cling to distrust and apprehension, and reject this wooer's appeal.

Don't worry, my dear.  You'll have other chances to welcome the overtures of the Great Seducer ~ with every new encounter you engage.

~ with love from Jolene

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